The last few weeks I’ve been packing up my apartment and David’s house. Tomorrow we move into our first home together, and we could not be more thrilled or excited to turn the page and start the next chapter of our life together. I love packing up and finding sentimental objects buried beneath the detritus of normal everyday “things,” your findings bringing up memories of others, but they also unearth memories of the past you. We have so much stuff, so much clutter and busyness that sometimes we forget who we are. I came across an old portfolio with drawings I did for cash right out of grad school. They were nothing to me then, but now I look back with pride because time has gentled the way I relate to myself.
Now I look back with pride at the girl who made it work.
She has so much talent.
She has good ideas.
She is marketable.
She’s got bright days ahead.
But the girl she was then is the woman I am now. I didn’t see her value until I looked back with the grace the Lord has taught me. I look back with pride now. With pride in how far I’ve come and gratitude for the strength I found that got me through. I wish I’d never given that amazing girl the hard time I gave her. I wish I hadn’t let her give up on her dreams. I wish I had fought harder then for her peace, for the wholeness of her heart. But maybe if I didn’t have to look back on who I was then, I wouldn’t appreciate the woman I am now.
Look back at the person you once were, and smile. Take her hand. Meet her again, and realize she's not so far away if you’d like to reconnect.